Sunday, September 18, 2005

Son for the weekend

I sympathize with anyone who's gone through a divorce and only gets to see their child once in a while. I was somewhat lucky. The divorce that I went through, wasn't very ugly itself. However, the end result is that I don't get to see my son nearly as much as I would like. Of course, no matter what, whichever of us actually had custody of him, the other wouldn't have seen him enough. There's no nice way to split a child when both parents actually love him and want him. That was our biggest problem. The only thing that held our marriage together is that neither of us wanted to be away from our son.

Now, I only have him every other weekend. We did work it out where I get him 5 weekends every 2 months, which amounts to an extra 4 weekends a year over the parents that only have a strictly every other weekend deal set up, but it's still not nearly enough. For 2 weeks I miss him very dearly, and then when I have him, the hardest thing for me not to do is to smother him. I really just want to spend every moment being with him and doing exactly what he wants. I can't because I have to be a good parent and teach responsibility and help him to grow. So it ends up that I get to have a small slice of actually being with him perfectly, the rest of the time I am trying to be a good dad and keep teaching him and being an example for him.

I took him back to his mom tonight. and I had a hard time with it, becausee I love him very much and want to be with him. I sometimes sit and think about all of the things that I miss by not being with him. But then I have to remind myself that having forced myself to be with him mom any longer would have only made it worse on him. He would have had both parents, but he would not have seen them love each other.

We had a great weekend. He wanted to watch football. It was practically the first thing he asked to do when I got him late Friday night. We did too. We watched Notre Dame lose on Saturday and the Bears win on Sunday. He had a blast watching football with dad.